The Unblairable Lightness of Being

From the Script 

Chuck: "Nate, I can feel your brain straining. You and Serena have it easy. Until now, your biggest concern was whose hair is more shiny."

Nate: "You're Blair Waldorf. Punishment is your middle name."

Dorota: "If wedding not traditional, marriage is doomed. Where did you and Mr. Harold get married?"

Eleanor: "I don't think that's why it didn't work out..."

Serena: "You know how Carter is. He convinced his fourth grade class that Barney's was named after the dinosaur."

Eleanor: "She hasn't been out of her room for days. It's like living with Howard Hughes."

Blair: "Great, he sent Good Cop."

Elliot: "I love Dorota. We're tight now. We talked about the Vampire Diaries in the elevator on Friday."

Gossip Guys

Realism

Elliot would not have brought his girlfriend to a wedding for a boy he likes. -2

Nate's phone wasn't in his pocket, and he won't notice the received call ? -1

Chuck would have lied about him and Blair being happy, jinxing Dorota's marriage. +1

Everyone arranged the whole wedding in one day. That would never happen. -1

Lily didn't look through the peephole when Serena knocked on the hotel room door? -1

Jenny's supposed to be queen of the Upper East Side. She never goes to school anymore. -1
Chuck has old movie dreams just like Blair. +1
Chuck's pajamas are now black, because he's depressed, instead of purple. +1
Serena thinks a pair a Louboutins will solve the problem between Chuck and Blair. +1
Serena ate a crossaint right after she "had breakfast" with the Humphreys, in front of Nate. That's exactly how you screw up when you're being deceptive. +1
Blair never said that she didn't even sleep with Jack, to Chuck or Nate. That would be the first thing you say. -1
Is there such a thing as a traditional Russian Polish wedding? -1
Rufus hosted a "traditional Eastern European game night" and then wasn't even there, or at the wedding. -2
Eric is gay. He is basically programmed with gaydar, and could have sniffed the semi-gay boy right out of Elliot easily. -1
Lily would have thought ahead about her staying at Canyon Ranch. -1

Sum Total: -6

For the Love of Eric Damon

Inglourious Bassterds

From the Script

Serena: "Can I kiss you before I kill you?"

Blair: "Serena you've done some unforgiveable things. Like sleeping with Nate when we were saving ourselves for each other and killing Pete Fairman. How far is too far?"

Chuck: "Back from shopping and no packages? Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"

Dorota: "I feel very badly not wishing him happy birthday or bringing him Polish breakfast sausages in bed."

Blair: "I invited my minions. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel!"

Jack: "Champagne okay?"

Blair: "I prefer something stronger, to kill the germs."

Chuck: "If you're referring to the fact that I'm not in Thailand smoking hash with prostitutes, change is good."

Jack: "The fate of Chuck's empire is in your hands Blair. Well, not exactly your hands..."

Gossip Guys

Realism

Vanessa wouldn't just be carrying Dan's paper around. -1

It's no suprise that both Chuck and Blair stooped so low. +1

Blair made a contract, because she's no idiot. +1

Nate really believed Jenny was going to let him win the game. He's dumb. +1

After Jenny kissed Nate, he was all awkward in the elevator. +1

I'm not sure if Jack would have really turned down Blair. Even if she didn't want to sleep with him, the guy's a scumbag, and that would have really fucked with their heads if he went through with it. -1 Cause maye I'm thinking into it too much...

Eric knew that Jenny was scheming on Serena as soon as he got home. +1

Dan's reaction + the confrontation to finding out Vanessa lied about his paper. +1

I think Vanessa, with her "moral compass" would have told Dan that she was competing for the same spot. -1

Jenny was the only person that had a present for Nate on his birthday? Besides Serena's coslopus... -1

Chuck and Blair didn't waste one moment playing Assassin. Because they don't play games.. that don't risk anyone's lives or reputations. +2

Serena told Nate she had a garter holster for her cell phone? -1 Even for those two.

Jack wouldn't have sold Chuck's stuff so soon. But he was wearing his paisley robe.. so no points !

Nate and Jenny ran through some restaurant and locked themselves in the storage room, and no one seemed to care. -1

Yeah the whole bold and confident Elliot thing would never happen. -2

Even though she asked GG to help her find Nate, Serena didn't see the pic of him & Jenny on GG. -2

 

Sum Total: -2

For the Love of Eric Damon